your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
