You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
