He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
