Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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