Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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