dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
