I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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