The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
