ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
