i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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