I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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