My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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