so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
