I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
