question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
