Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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