So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
