Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
