Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
