A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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