i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
