she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
