Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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