last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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