i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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