I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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