Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
