My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
