so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
