take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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