Ambien. No doubt about it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
