I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
