I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
