worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
