Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
