Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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