My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
