I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
