I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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