I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
