1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
