he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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