Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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