I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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