butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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