I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
