I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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