Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
