im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
