Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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