my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
