I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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