apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
