Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
