Dual....:-)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
