So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
