3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this boner is exhausting
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize