yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
