that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
