google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
